If you can't say anything nice...

A few days ago I had another run-in with that guy at my work. Like every afternoon, I was in the mailroom sorting the mail when guess who walks in, my absolute least favorite person. This is the conversation we had: 

Him: "Oh, you're looking very nautical today."

Me: "Well...thank you!" *astonished that he's for once not berating me for having the mail sorted before it's even arrived*

Him: "How do you know that was a complement?"

*ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!*

Me: "I choose to take it as one. Why, was it meant as something else?" *Keeping the sappiest smile I can on my face, while silently daring him to keep going*

Him: "Oh no, it was intended as a complement, I was just saying..." *fade into incoherent mumbling"

*IF IT WAS MEANT AS A COMPLEMENT, THEN WHY COME BACK AND QUESTION ME ON THANKING YOU FOR IT?!*

The outfit in question. 

Of course, after he left the room, I came up with all these great comebacks all along the lines of "well most peoples' mothers taught them better manners..." etc. etc. 

It's shit like this that drives me up the wall. And no, what he said really isn't that big of a deal. I don't give a rat's ass what he thinks of my clothes. It's just the way he says things like this, it's like he is trying intentionally to get under my skin. 

Today wasn't any better. I had an extremely busy day with lots of clients bringing in work, trying to catch up on things that hadn't been finished from the day before, and to top it off, I'm on day two of training a new person. I'd been running around like a chicken with my head cut off basically. Mail time rolls around, the new girl and I sort and start delivering. He walks into the mail room just as we're trying to walk out, and then decides to comment on the situation. 

Him: "Well, this new girl really seems to have lit a fire under you." *acting like I sit around and slack all day*

Me: "I don't know what you mean, Mr. ***, I sort the mail every day as soon as it gets in."

Him: "It doesn't get sorted as soon as it comes in, because sometimes you all are on lunches and it sits back there unsorted and you all don't sort it until everyone comes back from lunch." *Pardonné-moi for being a human being who needs to eat*

*At this point, my manager who was standing nearby jumps in*

Manager: "Mr. ****, sometimes everyone is only two people. My girls all work as hard as they can."

Me: "And you have to remember, Mr. ***, we can't leave the reception desk. Someone has to answer the phones..."  *note that some days there really are only two of us working, so that means for two hours, while the first one takes lunch and the other covers the reception desk, and then we swap, there are a two good hours where phones are all we can do. We answer for so many companies, we CAN'T leave the desk and just not answer phones. We'd miss hundreds of calls.*

Him: "It still seems like she's motivating you to work a bit harder."

*With a fake smile and a "haha", I turn and walk away because I can't take any more. As I'm waiting for the elevator, I mutter an "oh god" as I see him walking towards us*

Him: "I know you all work hard."

*Sure, sure*

Me: "Yes we do, I've been running circles around the building today."

Him: "Well, you know what they say, that idle hands are the devil's tools. All this work is just keeping you out of trouble." *chuckle*

*I let out a big sigh of relief as the elevator doors open*

I'm serious y'all, if I end up in the looney bin, you'll all know why. I try my hardest to not take his crap personally, but he MAKES it personal. We don't even have the sort of work relationship where you'd think it would just be teasing, he's been like this since day one, and you can just tell he's being serious. I know he doesn't like me, which doesn't bother me because I don't like him one bit, but I treat him as nicely as possible, and always have a smile on my face. Kill him with kindness, you know? I can just read his feelings for me on his face. And so what? Why do I deserve this sort of treatment? Because I'm too busy working to come chat with you whenever you want? Because your favorite employee quit months ago and I switched offices to take her place? Guess what, I didn't drive her away. She quit by choice. 

Pray for me, y'all. With his extra attention plus several more weeks or possibly months of new hire training (depending on if we get one or two more new people), I will be lucky to make it out the other side. 

#16: An exercise in team building

A little while ago, my company's owners decided to buy all the support staff gift cards so we could go out to Carabba's together. It took a bit of coordination, but we finally made it!

Since we were all meeting in Green Hills, it took a little while for Amanda, Rachel and Gwen to drive over from Brentwood. I had left early to take the mail and met up with Lindsey and Amy right as they were closing up at Green Hills. They realized that the Japanese restaurant across the street had a 2 for 1 ladies' happy hour, so we popped by for a quick drink...or two. We had asked to sit on the patio (we were the only ones out there) and either the waitress thought we were going to town on our drinks or she thought we'd drink and dash because she peeked out the curtains at us about every two minutes. 

My carpool buddies Amy and LIndsey
on our way to dinner.

Amanda and Rachel finally made it through the traffic and we got to meet up for dinner. I've never been to a Carabba's before but the food was very good. For the first time in keeping with my weight loss goals, I actually planned out what I wanted to eat and chose from the low calorie menu. The wood grilled chicken did not disappoint!

This was the first time we've all been able to get together EVER. Lindsey and Amanda had never even met before tonight, although they've talked on the phone a lot. It was nice to spend time together and enjoy each others' company while we're not dealing with crazy people or stressed over a rush project. 

Amy and Gwen, right before Amy said
"You'd better not put this on your blog!" Sorry Amy :)

Rachel and Amanda

Before we left, we decided we needed a group shot, so I attempted an Ellen selfie. She must have really long arms, because it's harder than it looks. 

Amy, me, Amanda, Lindsey, Rachel and Gwen

We had a great time and I hope we all get together again soon!

#3: Open letter to that awful guy at my work

Hey, you...yeah you, the one with the inflated ego and huge sense of entitlement: 

Guess what. I didn't plan on becoming a receptionist/administrative assistant right out of college. Not that being a receptionist is a bad job to have, it just wasn't a part of my plan. 

Yes, believe it or not, I do have a Bachelor's degree. And I didn't barely scrape by either, I'm actually pretty smart. The only reason why I didn't end up as a pharmacist or lawyer or something is that I can't deal with people's insides and there's already a pretty saturated market for lawyers. Plus everyone always says you should do something you enjoy, so that's what I got a degree in. Turns out it's really difficult to find a job in my field, or any field really. That's what happens when they have a big push for EVERYONE to go to college. Turns out a college degree becomes the new high school degree. 

But enough about me. 

You know the cliche "it's not me, it's you"...it's definitely you. Today you acted like I wasn't smart enough to make a copy, then put a letter in an envelope and mail it. Other than the times when I'm doing billing work or dictation, that's a good chunk of my job. And while I am mostly overqualified for my job, even if I was as dumb as a post, I still think I could handle the task. The only way I wouldn't be able to handle such a "difficult" task would be if I was an actual post...like you get from the lumber aisle at Lowe's. 

This wasn't the first time you've acted like I'm dumber than dirt, sadly. You act like the simplest of tasks eludes my grasp. Like I'm some sort of gum-popping twit that sits around a twirls my hair all day. Yeah, kinda like her. 

She's probably not doing what she planned on doing in life either. She is probably a classically trained actress who ended up doing stupid stock photos for spare cash. It happens to the best of us. 

I don't know what your perception of women is, but it's not okay to treat a woman like a piece of furniture anymore like it was in the 50s and 60s. It wasn't okay then either, but it was more generally accepted. Just watch an episode of Mad Men and you'll see all the things NOT to do. Just because I have boobs and could pop out a baby does not make me less of a person than you are, and it's time that you realized it. 

Most of the other people in the building realize that I can handle my job and they entrust me with their credit card numbers and all sorts of confidential paperwork.  I'm helping one guy with his tax sorting and another next week with W-2s for his company. I'm pretty awesome at legal work even though I never trained as a paralegal. I stay busy, and I know what I'm doing.

Next, you know all those times when you get pissed that your mail isn't sorted and delivered the exact minute it gets delivered to the building? Let me rephrase that...when your ONE piece of mail you get about once every two weeks has to sit in a mail tote for ten minutes before it gets delivered to your office? Guess what? Every other single person in the building realizes that we stay pretty busy and we'll get it to them ASAP, and they have actual important mail they're waiting on. I stay busy. I don't just sit around all day doing nothing until you come give me a task. 

This is NOT what I do all day. 

Oh how I wish my days looked like the picture above. Most of the time though, it's more like the one below...

Now THAT'S more like it.

When you do bring me a task, how about you don't bring a rush job five minutes before lunchtime? That means our lunch hours get pushed back, and then that pushes back everything else for the rest of the day, including mail sorting/delivery. You're just shooting yourself in the foot there. 

If you're so particular about the speediness of your mail, how about you go down to the post office and stare at them while they're sorting? I'm sure there's some sort of federal regulation against that and then they can just arrest you and I won't have to deal with it any more. Hovering over me while I'm sorting makes me really nervous and actually makes me go slower. The company has talked to you about this numerous times and has sent you all sorts of memos warning you against your behavior but you still don't have the common decency to wait MAX 20 minutes. Today when my manager asked you to sit in the lobby while you waited, you had the audacity to say that you had to "supervise us so we would actually get work done." No. Not okay. 

My very favorite part was when I handed you your one piece of mail. It went a little something like this: 

Me: "Just one piece of mail for you today, sir."

You: "Oh really, that's it? I was hoping for more."

Me: "Nope, just one today."

You: *feigned attempt at a joking tone* "Are you sure you aren't hiding any more from me somewhere?"  

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! At this point I was shaking I was so mad and on the verge of tears. 

And sure, now that I'm reading through all this, it doesn't sound so bad. But you do shit like this ALL THE TIME. Today it took me 20 minutes to stop shaking and calm down enough not to cry. And then when I got home, I made up for all that crying I held in. 

You sir are an asshole and a bully. Your daily abusive behavior is not okay. 

I really like all the other people I work for and some of them are so kind on a daily basis that it makes you seem even more out there by comparison. I love the other people I work with, but you're enough to make me want to quit my job. 

I just can't take it anymore. 

#rantover

WE'RE MOVING!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you couldn't tell, I'm just a wee bit excited. And about to have a nervous breakdown, because in a little over a month, we'll be back in the Volunteer State. This time hopefully for keeps!

Starting June 18th, Shane will be starting his new job with a company in Franklin, TN. While this is awesome, super duper, wonderfully fabulous news, it's also pretty overwhelming! It seems like it's all happening so fast! Here's a quick rundown of what's happening in the next month or so:

• Two weeks in Maryland, where we get to pack, fix the holes Charlie and Sheldon chewed in our condo wall, attempt to find a new place to live, try to break our current lease, tying up lose ends, and trying to spend as much time with our friends as possible and doing all those things we've missed out on so far.
• Nine days in France. This has been planned for a long time (and I plan on blogging about it while we're there!) but I can't help but feel like we won't really get to fully enjoy the trip. I hope we can take a break and try to relax and have fun.
• A week and a half to finish packing, say our goodbyes, drive to Tennessee, find a place to live (if we haven't done that already), get settled, and try to find me a job so we can get back to our normal routine and not get behind on bills!

While this next month or so is going to be one panic attack after the other, I know we're going to be so glad when we finally make it down there! It will be so wonderful being so close to family and friends. It will be bittersweet though, because Maryland has finally started to feel a bit like home. The place has grown on us both a lot, and we'll be sad to leave (this was going to be the place where I listed all the things I'll miss, but the list got too long. Look for it in my next post).
Okay, I should probably stop writing and get back to packing, but one last thing...if you know of any awesome apartments/houses/condos in the Franklin-ish area that aren't super expensive, or any place that's hiring (I'm basically good at everything, just no fast food, and nothing where I have to see blood) let me know! (They also have to pay in American dollars, I don't accept Trident Layers)

A fun announcement!

So I'm sure all of you know this already, but I just wanted to say it again! 

Yep, you heard Mr. Carey right! Or is it "read him right?" hmm...must ponder. Oh wait, what was I talking about? OH YEAH, MY NEW JOB! 

If you couldn't tell, I'm pretty excited.  I started the other day as a legal secretary at a law office. The people are fabulous. The hours are great, and I'm guaranteed 40 hours a week (which was practically nonexistent in retail). I actually get time off too! And weekends off, which means that I get to actually do fun stuff with Shane instead of dealing with customers all Saturday and Sunday. As for the pay, well let's just say it's substantially better :)

It's not that I hated retail. It was more a hate/love/hate relationship. I loved (most) of the people I worked with. And I really enjoyed working on things like shipment and merchandising while there were no customers were in the store. But once you added shoppers into the mix, with all their various questions and complaints and coupons, things got a little less pleasant. Plus it was just exhausting. Standing on a concrete floor for 8 hours a day is no fun. Lifting boxes is no fun. Standing out in the weather counting said boxes is no fun. I would come home every day, pretty much worn out and just ready to go to bed, covered in scrapes and bruises. No use in painting your fingernails cause they would be ruined the next shipment. And you would not believe how much cardboard dries out your hands. I could never even dress nice without my clothes getting box dust all over them. 

Retail just wasn't the career path I felt like I wanted to stick to. The hours are crappy, there are lots of difficult people to deal with, and you always feel like you get paid way less than you should. Not to mention, in the six months I was at this particular store, I was never given my set of keys, or the code to the alarm, which were both things that were supposed to come with my position. I was half-trained, and it was getting old, fast. 

I am glad to say that my situation is looking up! I've only been at the law firm for two days and I already have my own key! Today they even threw me a lunch party and bought everyone sushi (I had chicken teriyaki, since sushi and I are not really friends). I am so thankful to have found this job. I know that I am really lucky to have found something so great, and I hope that I love it!

I mean, who wouldn't love nights and weekends off?

Now I'll have so much time for activities! And have the energy to do said activities. And money to pay for the activities! YAY!

P.S. Don't worry, now I will have so much more time for blog posts too! I have so many that I need to catch up on. In fact, I have one in the works about the worst shopper behaviors, and reasons why they make retail workers hate them. Check back soon!

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Also known as my worst feared interview question. If you want to know the truth, I don't know where I see myself a week from now, much less five years into the future. I don't have plans for becoming a CEO for a Fortune 500 company, or being a famous actress, singer, etc., or even plans for hitting the Mega Millions jackpot and starting my own sports bar. In fact, the biggest thing I learned after four different majors and four and a half years in college is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. My goals are a little more abstract. I want to find a job that makes me happy. I don't need to be a millionaire, just make enough to pay bills and still be able to go on vacation every once in a while. I want to be able to spend nights and weekends with my husband, and sometime way off in the future, my kids. I want a job where I have to use my brain, so my education isn't wasted. Is that so much to ask?


Here are all the things that I have figured out I don't want to be...

Pharmacist: Wanted to be this until I worked in a pharmacy. Then I hated it. You spend all your time on your feet, counting pills. All day, every day. Too boring. Plus the idea of giving people flu shots freaks me out hard core.

Chemical Engineer: This was a split second interest after the pharmacist thing fizzled out. My logic was, I am good at science, if I don't want to count medicine out all day, why not develop it? The downside to any engineering degree is all the physics. I am pretty good at math (as in, getting good grades) but I don't comprehend it well. I feel like my retention of that stuff is almost zero to none.

Party Attendant at a Bounce House: Worked at one of those places over the summer one year. Entertaining the kids is the fun part. Being in your socks all day, not so much. Especially when they have birthday parties, and the kids spill cake and icing all over the floor. Trust me, you eventually step in it, then all your socks are stained blue and pink on the bottom.

French Teacher: This would be a really awesome job. Unfortunately the market for French is getting smaller and smaller. If I could just figure out a way to make it work, I would definitely go for it. I have to work on my accent though, because my luck, I would be the Peggy Hill of French teachers.

United Nations Translator: This interest was sparked by a trip to the UN in New York. This would also be a really awesome job, but I am sure there are tons of French speaking people who are more qualified than me (see Peggy Hill link above). Plus I fell asleep in The Interpreter.

Housing and Design/Interior Designer: the closest thing TTU offers to being an architect. In the end, it just wasn't enough architecture for me. The interior design part was fun, but not my forté.

Boutique Owner: Fun, but it seems like they barely break even, if they're lucky. Plus you spend all your time at the store. Too much stress for not enough return.



Now if I could just figure out something that I do want to do!


ETA: Maybe I could become a breeder for Petite Lap Giraffes.

Adventures in getting lost

I used to think that I was pretty good with directions. Shoot, I navigated the streets and subways of both New York City and Paris like I had lived there my whole life. But for some reason, you put me behind the wheel of a car in Baltimore County and I end up driving in circles for hours. I just can't get a mental map of the area in my head. 

Today I had to go to Westminster for a job interview (which I got the job, by the way!) which is a super cute little town. All the buildings in the downtown area had amazing architecture and colorful paint jobs, like in this picture I snapped at a red light...  

...notice the little red phone booth? That is a sure sign that Westminster is a cool place to be. 

Anyways, on my way back home, I had to stop by a place in Owings Mills where I left my coat yesterday. That is when trouble started. I got confused on how to get back on the interstate, which happened to me yesterday too, and had to turn around. I finally figured it out, but ended up going north instead of south and ended up back in Westminster. This is when it really hit the fan, because my phone died, meaning I couldn't Google Maps it out of there, and I couldn't call Shane for directions. Luckily I followed some signs "To Baltimore" and made it back to the interstate. 

You would think "oh, she made it to the interstate, surely she got home with no trouble from there." And you would be wrong. You see, by this point, I had driven around for nearly an hour, and I was hitting the pre-rush hour traffic. I heard on the radio that there was a bad car accident on the way to my house and that the traffic was backed up really far. Apparently I don't learn from my mistakes, and I got off the interstate early to try to miss the traffic. The main road was really busy, so I tried to go back roads. Not surprisingly, I got lost in this same area of town last week. I didn't know my way around any better this time either. I got so lost, I ended up finding someone with a Pennsylvania license plate and following them, hoping they were headed home. And they were! I finally made it home, turning what should have been a 30 minute trip into a TWO HOUR expedition. 

Unfortunately, Shane got home about 30 minutes before I did. When he tried to call me and I didn't answer, he got a little freaked out. It didn't help that the bad car accident (which was on the interstate right near our condo) was caused by a car exactly like my rental car. I felt so bad that I made him worry so much, but I had no way of contacting him! 

I guess the moral of the story is that from now on, I am *not* leaving the house without a fully charged cell phone, car charger, change for a pay phone, and the GPS!

Too much to ask?

After spending countless hours searching Craigslist, Monster, SnagAJob, TopJobs, and the other zillion job websites, I have hit a wall. I feel like I have filled out so many online job applications and so many of those confusing online personality profiles that my head is spinning. If you have ever done an online application, you know what I am talking about...they have these tests that usually take 30-45 minutes and they are supposed to make sure that you aren't crazy or going to steal everything from the store. One profile seriously asked me the same 10 questions about 10 times each. You don't know left from right, up from down once you finish one of those. 

At one point I was filling out 5 or 6 applications a day, signing up for places that I had absolutely no interest in working. I would stay up super late at night and fill them out, so I think I got a little delirious. I came *thisclose* to working at a Medieval Dinner Show and Jousting Tournament. The job included wearing a costume and carrying 30lbs. of roast chicken and ribs around. No, I don't know what I was thinking either. 

I have also applied to a few places that I am completely unqualified for. Bartender needed for high volume downtown tequila bar...can't be that hard, right? And the listing for a "Master Psychic needed immediately" to help a business executive make important decisions? Okay well I didn't actually apply for that one, I figured that when I showed up in a jeweled turban and inevitably dropped my crystal ball on my foot, they would realize I didn't have the 10+ years required experience. 

A couple of job listings have been scams, which is disappointing. There was one posting that I was particularly excited about, it was for a company looking for someone to help with customer service for their fashion retail website. When I got the email back from them, their link took me to a shady website for a condo rental management company. Can you say false advertising? 

I think I need to reevaluate my priorities. I want a job that I enjoy. I want a job that makes me feel like I went to college for a reason. I want to be useful to someone somewhere, for something other than doing laundry or cleaning up the kitchen. I want money so I don't feel bad asking Shane if it's okay for me to buy a cute pair of shoes. So I think I am giving up on online job listings entirely. Instead, I am going to print off about a thousand copies of my resume and drive around town until I find a place that catches my interest. Until then I still have my backup plan...

I don't exactly meet the qualifications for that job either...I am a natural born citizen, and I have lived in the US for at least 14 years, but I'm not 35 years old. Oh well, two out of three still counts right?