Well this was going to be a blog about my fantasy football team, but for some reason the ESPN website hates me, so you'll just have to wait on that.
In the meantime, it's been a while since I've shown you any strange pictures! As usual, these are things I have spotted in the wild, and felt like it was important enough to take a picture of.
All of today's featured items come from the wonderful world of Walt Disney Walmart. Enjoy!
I can't remember if I've shown you this before, and honestly I'm too lazy to go back and check right now, but there is a two-story Walmart just a few miles from our house. I've been to quite a few Walmarts in my day, but this has to be my favorite. Not because of their excellent selection of merchandise (I mean, where else can you buy a pair of Pajama Jeans and a new set of tires at the same time?), but because of this little beauty right here:
Yep, you're seeing that right. An escalator. In the middle of a Walmart. Kinda weird, isn't it? Now some of you may be asking yourself, "but when I go to Walmart, I always find so many bargains! How am I supposed to take my purchases up the escalator with me?" These geniuses have thought of everything, including...wait for it...a BUGGY escalator!
I know what you're thinking, and yes, it is magical.
Something else I won't be buying ever, gorilla booger hair gel. And no, no gorillas were harmed/had their noses drained for this product, but that doesn't mean it's any less disgusting. The gel is about the same yellow as that bottle. And what about that name? "Squizz." Just say that out loud and try to not cringe.
Honestly this next one got me a bit upset. Probably a bit illogically, but still. Funfetti is delicious as-is. Okay so they put the cookie recipe on the side of the cake mix box. Those are delicious too. Then they packaged the mix as cookie mix. Whatever. But now, a cookie pop kit? First of all, who enjoys cookies on a stick? I have only had one cookie on a stick, and it was from a cookie bouquet when someone was in the hospital. The stick seemed unnecessary. Is it supposed to protect from hand cooties? And why do you need a kit? If you really enjoy cookies with a tongue depressor shoved inside, do you actually need instructions on how to do it?
And don't even get me started on those "Fun da-middles."
It gets a tad bit "adult oriented" from here on out, so if I could just see your IDs to make sure you're 18...
...okay, we good?
This one is cheating a little bit because it's from Sam's Club, but hey, that's close enough right? This
My Little Pony game may seem innocent enough, but just take a look at
the name. Not to give it away, but I've heard something else called a
"pinkie pie" and it wasn't a pony...
Lastly, this greeting card is disturbing for two reasons, much like their "2 rules in life." Firstly, you can guess the punch line even before you open the card, "2. don't fart in your wetsuit," duh. Secondly, there are a lot of people out there who have bought this card I'm sure, and some of them are bound to have given it to their dads.
Why is that a problem, you ask? Don't
ask me how I know this, because really I don't even know why. I retain a
lot of random, useless knowledge. And I do know that a lot of people
have a lot of different interests. Some people like to have their feet
rubbed. Others enjoy a bubble bath every once in a while. And others get
their, um, jollies, from inflatable latex suits. There are lots of
options too (NSFW), like if you want just your head inflated, or your boobs, or your whole upper torso. There are even some full body options.
Bet you'll be a little more careful the next time you're in the card aisle, won't you?
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