Saturday, February 28, 2015

Day 9: Teefs

Today I finally got my wisdom teeth out. I've needed it done for probably 2-3 years now, but out of embarrassment I told the dental assistant they'd only been bothering me for a few months. 
*** I feel like I should go ahead and mention that I'm pretty loopy on my painkillers right now, so please forgive me if this post is less than coherent ***
Where was I. Oh yeah, getting my teeth pulled. The dentist's office warned me not to operate heavy machinery, lift heavy objects, or make important decisions within 24 hours of surgery, so it was really lucky for me that Shane works from home and could drive there and back. 
***  And when I say I'm pretty loopy, I mean I can barely hold my head up to write. If Shane asked if he could turn the backyard into a crocodile refuge right now, I'd say "sure, why not?" *** 

Contact lenses were a big no-no. I couldn't even drink water for 6 hours before the surgery, so of course I woke up with a mouth that felt dryer than the Safari Sahara. 
*** I mentioned the painkillers, right?? ***
I didn't go to an oral surgeon. Thanks to my dentist's new 3D x-ray machine, he saw that the extraction could be done in his office. My bottom two teeth were partially "erupted" a.k.a. out of my gums, and the top two were still completely inside my gums, so there'd be a lot of cutting and poking around in there.

*** So yeah, I may have sprung $300 for sedation instead of a shot to numb the area. The only catch is that they could only give me pills, gas, and some sort of gross liquid...they couldn't fully put me to sleep. ***
After taking the initial set of pills, I got to lay in the surgery room covered in a blanket with the lights dimmed and wait for a while. After a sufficient amount of time, the dental assistant came back and gave me quite a bit of nitrous. I thought, "isn't it funny that people use nitrous in cars to make them go faster, but it makes people go slower?" This is when I realized the pills were working. Then I started to think maybe the nitrous wasn't really working. They immediately came to give me liquid medicine, and when I tried to sit to take it, I realized that the pills AND the nitrous were certainly doing their job. 


The picture above is the creepy skeleton 3D with which they determined my dental extraction fate. I got to stare at it while I was waiting on the pills. The dental assistant turned it off when she saw me staring intensely at it. I also had one headphone in, listening to my California Dreamin' Pandora station going. I was so worried about the procedure that I knew I had to have something to calm me down a bit. 

Since they couldn't do an IV, I was awake for the whole thing. Well, kinda awake. The liquid medicine had me really going in and out. I remember feeling like they put a crowbar under a tooth to try and pop it out. I remember them moving the mouth-propper-opener-thingie and asking me to open my mouth wider, but my whole mouth was so numb that I couldn't, so then I pulled my chin down with my hand. Thankfully they had numbing stuff on a q-tip they put wherever they were about to put a giant shot, so I didn't feel that either. 

At the end, when the dental assistant handed me my glasses and helped me to the door, with a mouth full of gauze I asked, "What do they do with the teeth??" I mean isn't it right about now when they show up with a little sealed medical sandwich bag with teeth? She looked at me and said, "Those go into the biohazard bin" with a concerned look on her face. So now I'm the creepy one who thinks, oh, I could still ask her to go rescue them, but what if it's really a giant bin full of teeth, how would she know which ones were really mine? And then I'd have some random stranger's teeth?

I'm not sure why I'm so concerned about the teeth. What would I do with them, make a necklace?

I'm at home now, where having slept for most of the day, I'm currently blogging and sending Snapchats right as the meds kick in and the ghost teeth quit aching. 

My husband Shane deserves a huge shout out for being so amazing and taking care of me in my time of need! I mean, they recommended eating crackers to settle my stomach, so he goes out and gets me oyster crackers so they're small enough to not hurt my teeth. He's so thoughtful and amazing. He also got frozen yogurt and made jello and chocolate pudding. Oh and mashed potatoes for dinner! 


We'll see if the loss of wisdom teeth affects my school grades. I mean do they make you smarter or what? And also, why can I feel no stitches? Are there liquid stitches in there? Or did they just leave the flaps to flutter around in my mouth? I know I shouldn't mess with them for fear of dry socket. I also can't exercise vigorously for a week, so that'll be fun. 

I should probably go now, a post any longer would be an important decision, and I don't think I'm in any sort of position to make those. 

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